I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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