his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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