and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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