i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't deserve a penis
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize