billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize