God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize