So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
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Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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