We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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