I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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