im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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