He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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