he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
nutella sex= disaster
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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