So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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