my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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