I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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