Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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