My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize