Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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