Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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