even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize