I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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