I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize