I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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