ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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