Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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