If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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