we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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