I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
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Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
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I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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