Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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