"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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