im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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