I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize