Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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