dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize