oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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