I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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