Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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