i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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