I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize