I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
YAS. BRING CRAB.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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