She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize