She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize