I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize