im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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