i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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