Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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