i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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