my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize