New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize