Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
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we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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